April 23, 2021
This Shabbat: Parshat Acharei Mot-Kedoshim
In this week’s Torah portion, we are commanded to rebuke others for their wrongdoing. Now that’s a commandment that resonates in 2021! After all, so much of our social media culture involves calling out others for speech or behavior that we find reprehensible. But as we all know, calling someone out on social media rarely, if ever, results in productive change. So, has our condemnation actually been successful? Perhaps a deeper investigation of the Torah commandment to rebuke can help us. The Torah states, “You shall rebuke your fellow and do not bear a sin because of him.” At first glance, the verse seems to be saying that we are obligated to call someone out when they are doing something wrong, and that, in fact, if we fail to do so, their sin becomes our sin as well. That makes sense. After all, standing by and allowing wrongdoing to occur makes us at least somewhat complicit in that wrongdoing.
But, interestingly, many rabbis have had a different take on the meaning of this verse. The great medieval Torah commentator Rashi argued that the verse actually means that we should not become sinners ourselves because of the way we rebuked another. If all our criticism does is publicly shame the other person, then we ourselves have sinned. Indeed, according to Jewish law, shaming another is akin to murdering them. Instead, our rebuke must be productive in nature, designed to change minds and hearts; not merely to embarrass someone else or showcase our own righteousness. Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv of Kelm (1824-1898) went a step further, urging his students to break down their admonitions into a hundred smaller parts in order to gradually ease the wrongdoer into seeing the error of his or her ways. In other words, fulfilling the command to rebuke means offering our critique in a way that the recipient can actually hear it.
Rashi and Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv were right. It is so easy to dash off a caustic and self-righteous tweet calling someone out for their bad behavior and feel our job is done. But study after study has shown that such rebuke does nothing to change anyone’s mind or heart; if anything, it simply hardens their attachment to what we found to be a reprehensible viewpoint. Instead, the rabbis tell us to choose ways of expressing our criticism that can foster better outcomes. Maybe we can choose to reach out privately rather than in a public social media post. Maybe we can ask clarifying questions before jumping to deliver pithy and righteous pronouncements that lack nuance or perspective. Of course there are statements and acts that are so hate-filled and egregious that they are in need of public rebuke in the strongest possible terms. But most people do not want to be offensive to others, and with the right manner of admonishment, we might actually help them see their actions in a new light. The Torah commands us to rebuke - it is up to us to do so in a way that will actually cause change.
For Shabbat Table Discussion:
- Have you ever engaged in calling someone out for reprehensible behavior? Did your efforts work? Why or why not? Do you think the way you communicated your rebuke contributed to the outcome?
- Have you ever been on the receiving end of criticism of your behavior? Do you think, in retrospect, that the criticism was appropriate? What did you learn from that experience?
- Are there ways in which social media companies incentivize our culture of outrage? What are those ways? How can we fight against them?
This Week in Jewish History
April 28, 1908 - Oskar Schindler is born
Those who knew Oskar Schindler before World War II would never have imagined that he would become perhaps the most famous “Righteous Gentile,” saving the lives of 1,200 Jews in the Holocaust. Born into a wealthy Catholic family of Moravia, in what was then the Austro-Hungarian Empire, Schindler grew up in privilege. He married his wife Emilie at the young age of nineteen, but was an inveterate womanizer who continued to have mistresses throughout his life. Becoming an industrialist, Schindler saw money-making opportunities in the outbreak of World War II. A member of the Nazi party, he followed German troops into Poland in 1939 and, using connections, bribes, offers of illegal liquor, and other unseemly tactics, he was able to acquire the “Emalia” factory which manufactured enamel goods and munitions for the Nazi army. He staffed the factory with the cheapest labor around: Jews. Initially, he saw Emalia as a way to quickly and easily earn a lot of money, but as the war wore on, what he saw happening to the Jews of Poland began to change him. He watched the Nazis liquidate the Krakow ghetto and deport the Jews to concentration camps, which at best meant hard labor, and ultimately meant death. A Jewish accountant he had employed connected him with a few Polish Jews who still had some money. In exchange for their investment, Schindler employed them in the factory, thus preventing them from being deported and murdered. As Schindler watched the destruction of the Jews of Poland unfolding before his eyes, he began to hire more and more Jewish workers, declaring them “essential” to the war effort in order to save them from the clutches of the Nazis. Yes, Schindler was making money from his factory, but he was simultaneously saving Jews, and employing them in a factory where they were fed, protected, and safe. By 1944, as the Nazis began to lose the war and sought to deport as many Jews as possible, Schindler fiercely protected his workers, using all his money to bribe the Nazis to not deport them. And, his efforts worked: the Schindlerjuden (Schindler Jews) survived. When the war came to an end, Schindler was broke. For the rest of his life he struggled financially, filing for bankruptcy and enduring a number of business failures. But, his Schindlerjuden honored and cared for him until his death in 1974. Schindler is buried on Mount Zion in Jerusalem, the only former Nazi to receive this honor. The Israeli government declared him and his wife to be “Righteous Among the Nations,” a high honor given to those who rescued Jews during the Holocaust. Schindler’s story was made famous by Thomas Kenneally’s 1983 novel, Schindler’s Key, and of course by the Academy Award-winning 1993 Steven Spielberg film Schindler’s List. May the memory of Oskar Schindler be both a blessing and an inspiration to all of us. He teaches us that one need not be a perfect saint in order to make the most powerful positive impact on the world.
Shabbat Shalom!
שבת שלום!
